A Consecrated Marriage

In the book, “Drawing Heaven into your Marriage”, H. Wallace Goddard shares


“In the early years of marriage, most of us are bothered by little habits and eccentricities in our partners. These things may not be wrong or bad, they are just different from our experience and preference. They can become a major irritation. As we become more spiritually mature, we are more likely to enjoy our partner as a total package” (p. 111).


In my post today I want to discuss how we can become more “spiritually mature” and set aside complaints against our partners and give our whole heart to them. This can be a difficult thing to do and it requires unconditional love, “basic acceptance of your partners’ personality and perspective” and making sure your “partner feels known and respected” (Gottman p.157). Another important key in making a happy life together is to “uncover and share with each other the significant personal dreams you have for your life (Gottman p. 141). To do this we need to ask this question, “what sacrifices are you willing to bring to the altar of your relationship?” (Goddard p. 111)


Abraham was willing to sacrifice his only son because the Lord required it of him. What are we willing to sacrifice? What does the Lord require of us in our marriage covenant?


Let’s talk about consecration and how it relates to the marriage covenant. Consecration is making something sacred. So, when we consecrate our marriages, we are making them sacred. This requires devotion and dedication to the Lord and to our marriage covenant. In essence, devoting and dedicating our lives to each other. Gottman, in his book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” states, “For a marriage to go forward happily, you need to pardon each other and give up on past resentments…when you forgive your spouse, you both benefit. Bitterness is a heavy burden” (p. 159). Overlooking our spouse’s weaknesses and forgiving easily helps couples focus on helping each other in our journey here on earth to become better, more Christlike and charitable. Forgiveness shows acceptance, love and encouragement in relationships. We come from differing backgrounds before we marry and learning how to accept each others personality and perspective is allowing for growth in a marriage. We can learn how to accept influence from each other which leads to greater respect and devotion toward each other.


Some questions we can ask ourselves are:


“Do we bring our greatest generosity and richest forgiving to our marriages?”


“Do we offer our whole souls and our best efforts as an offering?”


“Do our partnerships get half-hearted, occasional efforts? “


“Our marriages are ideal places to practice the law of consecration.” (Goddard p. 108)


“Just as Isaac was willing to give his life as the ultimate expression of commitment to God, so we are invited to dedicate our lives, our talents, our weekends, and our weaknesses to the sacred enterprise of sanctifying our marriages and ultimately perfecting our souls. (Goddard 103).


Remember “We are to lead our families by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness, kindness, and meekness, and by love unfeigned” (see D&C 121:41–42) which means we need to give our best efforts to making our marriages sacred.


I have a challenge to extend: (Goddard p. 111)
Can you for a whole month show only kindness, appreciation and admiration toward your spouse?
Can you leave out criticism, complaining and disappointments?
Can you focus only on the good intentions and best efforts of your spouse?


When you do this, you will becoming more spiritually mature as you learn to consecrate your best efforts toward building your marriage into the beautiful covenant marriage it was meant to be.



References


Goddard, H.W. (2009). Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing


Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (2nd ed.). New York: Harmony Books


Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/239042692693223921/